Culture shock and the superiority complex

One of the things that I have always struggled most with throughout my travels is wrapping my head around the different cultural standards of politeness and human courtesy. You expect things like architecture and food to be different; but it’s difficult understanding what the ‘unspoken’ social norms are in different countries. In particular, I find it interesting comparing the ways in which people interact, customer service, the way you treat people as you pass them on the street.

Even among my own country, you could say that I’m at the ‘higher’ end of the scale in terms of believing in courtesy, treating people as you want to be treated, all those sorts of lame notions. That might sound  little conceited, I don’t mean it in a conceited way. Some people would argue that I should be a little more selfish – that I can be a pushover. I suppose the flow through is that while I’m travelling, I retain those same sorts of values and when I feel as though someone is being disrespectful, I’ll take it rather personally. It is a part of the human condition that within any culture there are people who are ‘normal’ and some people who are slightly less respectful. It’s a personality thing. Any city with a busy public transportation system will have people rushing about who are more concerned about where they need to be than about the people around them.

However despite this understanding, I cannot help but find myself exhibiting a certain level of snobbery. I hear myself exclaim out loud something like, “Gosh people here are rude, this would never happen in Australia.” I hear it, I hear that my tone is filled with superiority, but I cannot help that this is how I feel.

I can remember in the Czech Republic in 2008 being extremely offended by someone who had their dog on the train (in itself, a cultural norm) allowing the dog to sit practically on my foot. In 2010 I told a customer service agent in the New York City Subway that there was no need to be rude when she gave me some attitude when I used my ticket incorrectly – perhaps the suitcase I was hauling might indicate that I was a tourist. This trip, at Victoria tube station in London when I was hauling my luggage along, someone came pushing past and nearly made me fall over – did I get a glance back, an apology, a helping hand? Not at all. I remember being on the train in France in 2008 and I was trying to lift my backpack up onto the racks above and I was having trouble. Many strong looking men passed through the aisle, squeezing around me, and not one stopped to offer to assist. These are all examples of scenarios that would cause me to be frustrated with the culture around me.

Perhaps though, it is the case not that the rest of the world is ‘disrespectful’ but rather that they are different. Perhaps I need to let go of this feeling of cultural superiority. People who travel often enjoy making cultural contrasts – I love the tiniest things, like that Morrisons grocery store here in Edinburgh has a cafe inside, or that you can buy ridiculously cheap and yummy sandwiches at Tesco, or that the cross walks in London will sometimes just be a free for all to cross when you can on major roads, with horns blasting from cars at pedestrians who don’t see a car is coming. It is quite conceivable that tourists who come to Australia possess their own superiority complex when it comes to things they encounter with Australian culture – perhaps when they see someone barefoot at the shops, or a simple gasp of shock horror at the price of alcohol.

I think also that culture shock is in many ways a manifestation of homesickness – it isn’t entirely about being bothered about things, but just that it is an outlet to direct the fact that you miss the comfort and familiarity of home. It isn’t that Australia is better, but just that I know what to expect, how to react, the best way to interact with people to get what you want. Even here in the UK, where we speak the same language, I feel like we don’t speak the same language. I have to consider how to phrase things, I can’t just glance at my coins and count them out quickly, I’ll be having a conversation with someone talking about their wee bearings and take twenty seconds to realise they’re talking about small children. It gets exhausting having to think about everything, and sometimes it’s just a small moment when I think how much easier things are at home.

Once I get into the flow of my travels, these things will worry me less. Sometimes, I think it’s easier to just accept that you are a tourist. I’m not a local, and I shouldn’t be expected to behave like one. If I try, then I think I just find myself being upset and disappointed with myself. I can do my best to adhere to cultural and respectful things – I’m not going to wander around a conservative city in a tank top, for example. But if I get confused about how the bus ticket system works then I would expect to receive certain level of courteous understanding from the people I’m interacting with. After all, the world is a nicer place when we treat others the way we wish to be treated – however maybe my standard of how I wish to be treated is out of place in the world! The ultimate conundrum.